Winning

I realized in my last post I started off one way and changed the subject completely. So, what I was saying about not letting the pain win…

Most of the time the only thing I feel like doing is laying down, and hoping I fall asleep so I don’t ache. After I do that though, I’ve noticed I feel worse. I don’t know if it’s psychological or physical, but I’ll feel like total crap. I hate wasting time. I always have a lot to do, just running the household and it bothers me to have things laying around, or laundry stacked up that needs to be done. So despite not feeling like doing anything, I usually decide to stay busy.

My baseline pain level I would say is around 6/10. When it increases significantly, and I’m out and about, I avoid going home. If I do go home I know I’ll go lay down, and I usually either don’t have time, or I just don’t feel like it. I will instead go shopping. Not necessarily buy anything, but just walk around, slowly, and tune out the world. By the time I go home, I’ll be completely exhausted, and barely capable of moving, but at least I feel like I had a little victory over the pain.