Can’t fix it all

This morning while I was driving to my physical therapy appointment I realized why I was eager to get my knee replaced, for a minute.

My worst pain, the one that’s ruining my life, my headache, can’t be fixed. At least no luck so far. I think I was just excited about my knee replacement so that there was finally something I could control. A pain that I can make go away. But then I realized that living without that knee pain, isn’t going to make a whole lot of difference. Yeah, I’ll have one less pain, but it isn’t so bad, yet. I rather wait until it is no longer bearable.

Currently I’m still recovering from my previous knee surgery, which has only been 4 weeks. I want to see first how much different my knee will feel once these cutting pains go away.

Wait!

I think I’m going to wait…. I feel like I’m rushing this decision. I feel that it will be in my best interest to hold off a little while. I’m going to focus on losing weight so my knees get some relief, and on strengthening my legs.

I’m not ready to give up on my own body part. I can not undo that surgery. Currently, I can live with this pain. I know it’ll only get worse, and that it is inevitable, BUT in this case, the longer I wait, the better. I want to wait until the pain’s unbearable, or it interferes too much with my life.

At the moment my headache still rules my life, and as long as that’s not under control, having a pain-free knee isn’t going to improve the quality of my life that much. So I first want to continue focusing on finding a solution to my constant headache.

 

 

 

TKR

TKR= Total Knee Replacement

Apparently that’s my only option now… I have been researching it, and the more I read the less excited I get! I was relieved at first to have found a surgeon willing to replace my young, 36 year-old, knee, but now I’m not so sure anymore…

A few of my hesitations include:

1. The recovery period is way longer than I had anticipated. At the very least I will be extremely limited for 8 weeks. That means, no cooking, cleaning, driving, shopping, doing laundry, or pretty much everything I’m OCD about!
2. The new knee won’t last forever! I’ll have to have at least 1 to 2 revisions if I’m fortunate enough to live long. With each revision comes a reduced chance at a successful recovery.
3. Taking pain meds is crucial to the recovery, and I am allergic to the heavy stuff, like Vicodin and Oxycodone. I cannot deal with strong narcotics. I’m sure they’ll find something that’ll take the edge off the pain, but I’m worried about the intensity I’ll most likely going to experience.
4. The kids! How is this recovery period going to affect them? I’m not going to be able to take care of them!
5. I’ll have no control over any of the recovery, since exercising isn’t going to benefit me at all. All I can do is rest, elevate, and ice. I have no patience for this!!!!

Is anyone here reading, who’s been through this, who had the same worries, and who can tell me not to worry, that everything will be just fine?! I need to get some feedback here… Please.