Reflection

Reflecting back on this last year, I am in awe of all the changes our family endured and challenges we’ve overcome.
The kids are incredible. Their resilience and adaptability are inspiring. They wouldn’t have chosen the path we forced them on, yet they excelled at dealing with the consequences.
Both had an amazingly impressive report card this semester and they are thriving socially.
2023 was hard, but it made us stronger, and better, and more equipped to tackle the future, no matter what’s ahead.
I couldn’t be more proud of us.
Happy New Year 💫

That was my social media post for this final day of the year. Full of truth, yet very vague. The things I want to share with the “familiar” world.

I wish I could be real, but that would be so depressing. I always want to protect the feelings of those around me. I don’t want them to worry, and I don’t want to sound like a complainer, a downer. This blog is my sounding board, although even here I’m not saying as much as I should, if I would be totally real and honest. Why is it so hard to put misery into words? Is it because maybe I don’t want to admit certain things? Is it because I know for a fact that many people have it way worse, so I’m embarrassed to even consider my pain and inconveniences worthy of publication?

I will try to stay true to myself and write the things I’m experiencing, just so I have a record of it, for the future. To understand when something started, or which treatment was done when. It’s a good reference resource. Although, is that really what this outlet should be used for? Ugh, so many questions and no answers.

I got a new job!! I haven’t started it yet. I still need to give my 2-week notice. I’m excited, though. The other job was brain-melting. Seriously unchallenging and boring as fuck. I’m certain it can’t get any worse, although you just never know, right?!

My arm… tendonitis, tennis elbow, whatever they want to call it, is ridiculously painful. I’ve gone to physical therapy for 10 weeks or so, but it wasn’t getting any better, so the physical therapist recommended another orthopedic surgeon at Cedars Sinai. I went, got an MRI, and now I need to go back for the results and a treatment plan. The MRI shows a moderate tear, but I don’t know how to interpret that. We’ll see what the doctor says.

I’m gaining weight again. The holidays are terrible. I know it’s my own fault for eating so much crap, but it is so hard!!! 😭

My daughter was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease last summer, called Alopecia Areata, and she lost about half her hair in a couple of months. Luckily, we immediately went to the best dermatologist in Southern California, specialized in the treatment of Alopecia and one of the doctors involved in recent studies for oral medication. My daughter was able to start taking this medicine less than 6 weeks after discovering hair loss! Now, she’s already growing a ton of hair back! We’re really excited and hopeful for the future. This was by far one of the most stressful times we’ve dealt with as a family. We are so relieved to be back in the States when all this went down because in Mexico, this treatment isn’t an option yet.

Hopefully, 2024 will have fewer surprises for us and more exciting times!

I wish you all a safe end-of-year and a healthy, happy, and prosperous New Year ❤️

Little updates

I finally saw an orthopedic doctor for my arm, and he confirmed I have a tennis elbow. So, for the time being, he gave me a cortisone injection, and I’m starting physical therapy next week.

Yesterday, I had a piece of skin removed from my shoulder blade. A month or so ago, they did a biopsy on a weird looking mole, which turned out to be moderately atypical. This is the 5th skin excision I’ve had done, so it wasn’t a total surprise. My shoulder is aching, though, and I have to wait 2 weeks before the stitches can be removed.

I haven’t been sleeping well. And apparently, when I do, I’m grinding my teeth so hard, they feel like I may have cracked a molar. It is so painful! My whole face hurts, and my headache is even more outrageous. I’ve started using my mouth guard again, and it is slightly helping, so hopefully, I’ll recover without having to go see a dentist.

How do I just stop stressing out?

I started my new job about 4 weeks ago. They are fortunately really flexible with my hours and days I can work remotely from home, which has helped me tremendously with the various doctor appointments. The downside of the job is that it is nothing like I had hoped it would be. On top of that, my direct supervisor has been out for medical reasons, and I have nobody training me or telling me what to do! In other words, I don’t know what to do! I’m bored and feel like a fraud. I should not get paid for this, yet I’m very happy that they do 😂

I want to find a therapist to talk to. I haven’t seen one in many, many years. I haven’t truly seen any benefits from talking to them, but I think I need to address some issues with an outsider. I can’t find anyone who has availability right now! Why is it so hard?